If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So squirting runs in the family.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
