Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
