what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
