We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
