She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
