Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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