so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
