but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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