yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he shaved USA in his pubs
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
