Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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