I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
