You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
