Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
they need to just BURY HIM!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
