i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
