get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
