woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
