its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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