i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
