birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
