She's JV to your varsity
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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