So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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