this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
