your room smells of hookers.
And success
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
