just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
