It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
