He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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