Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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