its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
