I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
