No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
