so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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