I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
