this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
