I'm really into asian looking animals
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize