google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
