the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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