Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We just shotgunned beers for America
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
