i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
