stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
