Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
two words: eviction party
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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