Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
