Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
3pm strippers are depressing
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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