You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
sex in a hospital.. check
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
