Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
