Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's never too late to be topless.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
