first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
