well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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