Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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