today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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