would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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