google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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