He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
