Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
