I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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