don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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